Hope and it's place in pregnancy and birth

hope

 

–noun

1.

the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: 

–verb (used with object)

6.

to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

7.

to believe, desire, or trust

Birth:

"I hope it will be okay", "I am hoping to have a vaginal birth", "I hope my baby comes soon", "I hope to be able to breastfeed". 

Starting on our mothering journey we are filled with hope, but something seems to happen along the way and that hope dissipates and some of us are left with feelings of desperation, despair and fear. If you believe and trust in your body, truly believe and trust in your bodies ability, you can achieve so much. 

From the stories I have heard and been told, the medical fraternity who specialise in pregnancy and birth are more than partly responsible for parents losing hope. For some shocking real examples of this read "My OB said WHAT?!?"

If you are starting on your pregnancy journey, here's what I suggest you do to help you keep HOPE alive. 

1. Take everything you read or hear with a pinch of salt (including this blog, nothing and no-one is objective, everything is subjective). 

2. Doctors are just people and have off days, but this does not mean that they can say and do as they please, they cannot and you do not have to accept it. When you are forced to question your ability, your body, nature's way, there is something awry. Run away... stay away.  (I met with a doctor 32 weeks into my pregnancy, I had to have a consultant visit due to a fibroid that I have, this doctor had never met me before, spent two minutes with me, without even asking me about my wishes for my babies birth when she turned around and said ... ahem.... "you will have a medically managed birth, you will come into the hospital, be put on a drip and your labour and birth will be managed, you will NOT HAVE a home birth". I was livid when I walked out. I walked away from her and her attitude and never ever went back. I had my baby at home, in water, I did not have a medically managed labour or birth. We are both perfectly happy and healthy and I have beautiful memories of my babies birth. In fact I hope to share similar birth experiences with all of my babies).

3. When you find yourself questioning your ability to birth your baby your way, remember that you have conceived and grown your baby in your body without medical intervention for the last 40+ weeks. Look down at your bump, feel your baby move and roll about and know that you ARE DOING IT every second of every day. Your beautiful powerful body... 

4. Do not feel bad or guilty for wanting what you want. Its your birth, your body, your baby, your choice. PERIOD! If the provider you are with is not open to listening, find another one. 

My greatest hope is that you get the birth experiences that you deserve and that your baby gets treated with the love and respect that it deserves! 

"Hope" is the thing with feathers 

254 "Hope" is the thing with feathers— That perches in the soul— And sings the tune without the words— And never stops—at all— And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard— And sore must be the storm— That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm— I've heard it in the chillest land— And on the strangest Sea— Yet, never, in Extremity, It asked a crumb—of Me. Emily Dickinson